Regs Lose Semi - Saints lose flag.

No need to elaborate. Just devastating.

Kosi and Ball couldn't believe the Regs lost the semi

Regulators tune up for finals with annihilation of Choc Thunder

Mattyo and Sam go off in biggest win of the season.

There was a massacre on the court Monday night...

The regular season finished with a bang for the Regulators Monday night - winning by 35 points (72-37).

Resting their two bigs (Mal & Big Ben), the core of the Regulators went into the game loose and energetic. This team seems fresh, confident and have the aura of a winner. Time will tell if they are legit, or just a steaming pile of feces not worthy of gobbling the sack of the Melbourne Basketball Association.

Digs and Mattyo got the party started with some quick moves to the hoop and with only four men, Choc Thunder soon realised they had no chance of ending their season on a high. The lead climbed at a steady pace and until the Thunder managed a few 3-balls to cut the lead to five.

Digs entered the game again and went on a scoring spree like it was downtown L.A. circa 1992. He was stealing, looting, dropping dimes and dropped a few jaws with an incredible up-and-under move near the end of the half. At halftime his boner was visible and a rest on the bench where he could "squeeze one out" was well deserved.

With the lead back up around 20 points, Mattyo continued to rack up points like a pinball machine and had the official scorer nervous looking for room to put all those buckets on the sheet. Something had to be done before the algebra needed to be applied.

Enter Mr Sam Fuggle.

Scoring two points in the first half, Sam decided to light it up in the second and produced his most dominant sequence of basketball the Regulators have ever seen. Offensive rebounds, put-backs, Kevin McHale post moves and coast to coast layups were all broken out. He couldn't be stopped.

So the Regulators have now made the playoffs twice in three seasons. To advance they have to beat Wasted who defeated them by one point back in round six (49-48). The Regulators are a different team now and have a new ace up their sleeves in Big Ben.

From what we know Wasted live and die with their big point guard. If the Regs can shut this AND1 Mixtape try hard down they will have a great shot at the grand final.

See you all there at 7pm this Monday, tickets are scarce...

Regs take care of Jets, keep grasp on third spot

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Regs lead from start to finish as they close in on a finals berth.

The finals picture became a lot clearer Monday night when the Regulators effortlessly took care of the Jets.

They now know winning the last two games is the only way to hold onto 3rd place and will see them take on Wasted in the semi finals.

The Regs may have cleaned up the mess from earlier in
the year, but The Wolf cautions them again, "lets not
start sucking each others dicks quite yet."

They now know winning the last two games is the only way to hold onto 3rd place and a finals spot. There are three rounds left. Let me break it down bullet point form, (or lets not, nah actually please humour me...)

Here's how it should go down:

1. A bye next week - so that's a win
   
   
2. vs Elwood who haven't won a game all year. Unless they bring in some serious NCAA Division 1 type ringers, this should be a win.
   
   
3. Last round vs Chocolate Thunder. This is win or go home. The Choc Thunder win this and they get in. Make no mistake, this is a final before the finals. Just like Hawks/Bombers this weekend.

Different sport, same consequences
for these two teams

Oh – before I go, a bit of news for all you mad Regulator fans out there. Yes both of you.

You can now follow the progress of the Regulators anytime you like by visiting:

melbournebasketball.com.au

All results for the year, ladder and finals schedule - now go forth and make this your homepage or run head-first into an AIDS tree...

Little Boys play like grown-ass men to stomp Regulators 58-45

#1 fan Francesca was blamed for the loss, and was
deported back to Italy shortly after the game.

Any number of issues could explain the deflating loss Monday night:
• the momentum-slowing BYE last week
• a hungry, more aggressive opponent
• superfan Francesca's magical sporting luck suddenly running out
• shit-awful officiating
• they were DUE FOR A LOSS

Any way you look at it one thing is clear - the LITTLE BOYS have defeated the Regulators twice this season and they're now in the top 4.

If they meet in the finals, will we see a similar result? Or will it be a THIRD TIME LUCKY type scenario?

I don't know, but fuck me with a pitchfork if this conundrum won't be keeping me up at night...pacing the hallway with a crazed look in my eye...blabbering incoherently...caressing a basketball...lightly fondling the valve hole...

Wait, did I just say that out loud?

Regs demolish Sole Provider and roll to sixth straight win

Regulators hold opponent to five second half points on their way to winning by 35

Monday's beatdown was on the level of this Godfather scene...

With only two less wins, Sole Provider seemed like a worthy test for the Regulators. No chance. Not only were they thoroughly shit players, but a late start gave the Regulators a 9 point advantage that kicked in at halftime. A manageable 11-18 deficit blew out to 11-27 and seemed to suck what little life Sole Provider had left.

What happened in the second half was a brutal ass-reaming as the Regulators played as a tight unit to win big and boost percentage.

Fielding a full squad for the first time in weeks, all the usual suspects got in on the act. Matt Leonard with two bombs from downtown being just one of many highlights.

The only downside for the Regs is a mandatory bye next Monday, but I doubt that will slow down this steam train as it chugs its way through Regular Season County on its way to the end destination: Finals Win Station.

Update! Regs now on 3 game WIN streak

Regs continue to win with sharp dissection of Team Smegmen.

The game contained some uptempo play, plenty of bombs from downtown, a Saints-like defensive stand and some of the best trash talking seen for quite a while - I'd pay $0.16 to watch a replay (streaming online of course).

The matchup was unique:

4 guards, 1 Centre
vs
2 guards and 3 centres.

Two of the three Regulator front line were out leaving Sam the task of taking on the Twin Towers of the Smegmen.

The Twin Towers of Houston (not Smegmen).

Up front, guards Digs and Claude were creating some havoc with the Smegmen weakness - bouncing the ball! Ha ha, they had no handles.

Can't recall if it was tied at the half but was close.

The Smegmen caught fire and though they was All That and their stupid-assed no-handle-havin' old dude of a point guard (can't believe they let him run any point at all) started yappin' at Claude!

This writer couldn't believe his eyes! Not only was Claude breaking him down with his response but did he not know acclaimed trash talker Digs was on the court?

After gathering the info from Claude, he quickly confirmed that the old dude was Wack and launched a vintage tirade on the guy for the rest of the game. Basically Smegmen should be pissed off because it changed the game for the Regulators from "probable win" to "certain win".

Everyone got in on the act then and you saw all the best from the Regs including Mattyo's pullup J's and Torrance's inside-outside offense. Fun game, fun times.

Next week is another low-ladder team and a win is favourite on TAB. This journo is taking his work to war-torn North QLD again - so updates might be sketchy.

Do the Regs need to bring back the video?

Vote on the lastest poll if you want to see the Regulators highlight video back in action.

Management thought it was a bit self-indulgent and made the Regulators a bit soft, but with recent losses maybe they need some inspiration.





Hey Beyonce you sexy thing, why don't you sing to these people what they need to do! You go SISTA!

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