Tuesday, August 7

Regulators brutally flog Animals United - RSPCA to investigate


Torrence answers critics with masterful shooting display.

The regulators were back to their best in last nights win over Animals United (37-29).

A quick start saw them up 14-4 and looking to do extreme damage before the Animals made the scoreboard a little more respectable at the half, 21-12.


Ben Torrence was exceptional nailing three 3-pointers and creating baskets for teammates.

Roobs and Matt Owens were solid down low and never stopped running.

It was when Animals United came within two points midway through the second half that the Regulators knuckled down and played their trademark air-tight defence. A stop was made and Torrence, who was on fire throughout, nailed a timely three-pointer to extend the lead to five.


'Apparently I copped a spray from the media', Ben said at the after game press session.

'Word travels fast in this town. I didn't read it myself, but whatever two-bit journo you are - fuckin' eat that you deadbeat knocker. Don't forget I took on the thugs in the scallop industry and won...'


So there's some life left in this Regulator unit. With a bye coming up and a few niggling injuries to heal - the least they can do is make the teams up the top shit their daks a bit.

Monday, August 6

Cruelty to Animals United


The struggling Regulators may need to shoot their way into form against a dangerous Animals United team tonight.

Poor shooting has cost them some valuable premiership points lately, and when the shot doesn't fall, other scoring options dry up.


The two Matts have been consistent scorers all season, but when the other Regulators aren't scoring, these two see more defenders coming their way at the end of games.


Paul Lochland has been increasing his production too and has been another consistent performer of late.


As for the others - here are some of the things that have to happen to turn things around:


• Ben Torrence needs to hit some threes - he's been taking less shots as the season goes on and needs to shoot his way back to form

• Digs needs to get to the line. He was averaging around 4 foul shots a game, hasn't been there in a while

• Roobs needs to get under the basket and his teammates should find him for some easy buckets

• Roopa can use his best asset - speed - by being a cherry-picking mutha fucka


The Regulators can try these things, and maybe pull out a win tonight.

Funk FC defeat shaky Regulators


Even with 3 on the bench, the Regulators couldn't get it going against Funk FC and in the process lost all hope of reaching the finals. Funk FC started strongly using a 14-4 run to start the game. The Regulators were able to claw back to be down only 7 points in the second half, but got blown away in the end.