Regs go on break with no wins

The last thing the Regulators need is Starbury handling the point

Regulators compared to the Knicks as they lose their 8th straight.

Another loss to end this year and another kick in the nuts as reporters are calling the Regulators 'The Knicks of the MBA.'

Surely they've shown more heart, skill and cohesiveness than the stankin' Knicks? Yes, but not much more.

A quick look at the draw for next season sees only one definite chance of a win when the Regs play the last placed team - The Shadows. Maybe the Regs will be last by then, but if they can't win that one - throw in the towel fellas, and take up lawn bowls.

For now the Regs will be piling on the bulk over the festive season and trying desperately to get into shape for the first game of 2008: 14th Jan vs TBA at 8:20.

Regs cool off after hot start

This graphic says it all

Regs fall to 0-7 after being suffocated by Clown Shoes

Another disappointing loss to the Regulators leave them with one more chance to get a win in 2007.

They started very well off the blocks to be up 7-0 but then lost all momentum to the smaller, faster Clown Shoes ending the half behind 7-12.

The 3 veteran leaders of Matt, Digs and Roobs couldn't get anything going and if not for the new blood (Dean and Sam) the final score would be in single figures.

Roopa again scrapped and scavenged to come away with a few turnovers, but the sheer speed of Clown Shoes was too much to handle.

Ben Torrance and Matt Leonard were sorely missed and the Regs hope to get at least one of them back for the final game of the year: 9.10 vs Shooting Blanks

No report, but the facts are Regs lose

The media was blocked out for this game

No media was present for the 6th game of the season, and it seems just as well.

The Regulators dropped their sixth straight and are still winless.

Still no win, but Regs can hold heads high

Roopa: pure gangsta hustle

Without their defensive spark, (Roopa) and up against the second best team - Regulators win back some dignity with a gritty effort.

It's easier to point out highlights so read on:

• Ben Torrance ignored doctors warnings and made a solid contribution
• Reuben got an early flagrant foul, looked headed for another early exit, then went on to dominate from inside and out with his best game this season - encouraging
• Sam posting up and getting fed down low - an actual strategy well executed and with positive results. Lets not get carried away and call it a 'set play' but it worked well and should be used again.
• Matt Owens once again taking control when the Regs get sloppy with the ball

So yeah, look for video footage next week when the Regs take on last place Monday nighters.

7 on 4 and the Regs still waiting for first win

This bloke has had a better month than the Regulators

The Regulators fell to rock-bottom after losing to an undermanned team last Monday.

Only being able to get four on the floor, the Dean St PB's beat the regulators by a point. What's worse is they had a man foul out and had only three players in the the final two minutes.

The Regulators fielded seven healthy men and the bench was being used well, but struggled for most of the match and really didn't deserve to be in a position to win at the end.

Some soul searching will be done during the bye week and lets hope the Regulators can get their first win next week: 9.10pm vs Loud Noises.

The Regulators received a further blow with the recent news star guard and fan favourite Roopa will be out of action for at least a week. Ben Torrance may have to risk injury and lace up the old sneakers.

3 in a row - Regs lose again

The hot shooting Stayers couldn't miss, and the Regulators couldn't match them.

Well there's not a lot you can do when a team hits roughly 75 three-pointers (yes - some were contested). All Regulators on the floor put in 110% and played very well, but you're not gonna beat a team shooting like that.

Game highlights:

• Digs and Ben not bringing their cameras and so no shots or footage of the game for you to browse

• Team Mascot Dillon showing some potential to be the ball boy in years to come with some real hustle in the shoot-around

• Reuben getting ejected after arguing some rough play a bit too much - reducing us to five

• Matt Owens taking over offensively with great shots, drives and passing

• Regulators going on a patient and extended run to tie the game with under 10 mins to go. This was a direct result of Owens scoring, Digs and David controlling the tempo, Sam and Matt defending well and getting all rebounds. Inspiring stuff.

• The Regulators unveiling their new defensive scheme - the first time a team hasn't played straight 3-2 zone in 45 years of recorded Melbourne Mens basketball

• After being behind by heaps all game long and then tying the game up, the opposition immediately hitting a 3 pointer. Happens so often in all levels of basketball that it's just ridiculous

So once again, positive signs everywhere - now where's that fucking WIN?

That's all I got to say - except there's a chance we may get some training organised this weekend. If you see a pig flying in your local area, then you know what the Regs are doing.

Regs lose again, footage taken and uploaded

Here's Roopa hitting a shot. Good ball movement to get him open. Pity this didn't happen at the end of the game. More to come...

Regs lose season opener, win hearts.

This is the wife of Ice-T. Recognise.

Undermanned, the Regulators showed what can be possible this year in a fast-paced, high-scoring game.

Only three Regulators were able to get to the game, Centre Sam and Guards Digs and Ben. After borrowing a player from the other team, the Regs got rolling and showed some good basketball throughout the contest.

Free agent signing Sam Fuggle dominated in the post against a strong defence. Fans are looking forward to a full season of steady post play from the big man and judging from this game they won't be disappointed. He could have scored plenty down low, but was happy enough to give it up and get others involved.

And get involved they did, Digs continued to score baskets with drives, blistering speed in transition and even pulled up for a couple of jumpers. The drive seems to be his main weapon now as the 3 point shot and outside jumpers are still on extended leave. Until defenders play off him a bit, he will hurt them inside.

Ben Torrance, bravely playing with a crippling groin injury, could only manage to jog in straight lines. This may have slowed lesser players, but Torrance used it as a showcase for his deadly 3 point range. 12 points on 4 triples proving that even on one leg, 'Lights Out' Torrance is all class.

As to the whereabouts of the rest of the team, Reubens' press release of not being able to play came too late for the officials. Roopa should have been notified again (will note this for future) and it's been reported Matt & Matt had a grand final before this game. We can only assume they won that fucker and were celebrating forthwith. If that's the case - I raise my glass to them and say 'Cheers - now come help the Regs win some Fucking games!'

Torrance to miss start of season

Star point guard and much loved vice-captain Ben Torrance is set to miss the the first 2 months of the Regulators summer season with a groin injury that has hampered him for the last few months.

While being interviewed today when spotted limping out of the sports clinic in Prahran, Torrance commented 'Fuck Off' and tried to run down the street only to run into a dead-end lane.

Once cornered he was a little more forth-coming.
"Yeh, I have the O.P. The doctor said it came from unprotected sex with a Korean cheerleader but I have my doubts.....I've never even been to Korea !!
The end result is the same, I can have an operation and I will be out for about 6weeks, or I don't have an operation and will be out for 8....I hate needles so it looks like I'm out for 8."

With Matt Owens still recovering from kankles (Really fat ankles) and the departure of Paul Lauchlan from the line-up, the Regs might be be in a bit of shit early in the season with their fast paced and quick scoring mosquito brigade all but decimated.

It will be a taller starting line-up for the Reg's when they begin their summer campaign with new recruit Sam looking the goods and captain Digs walking a few inches taller after a heel implant and a sensational second half of the previous season.

Owens inspires, but Regs lose

Willis back in '73:
'They may be the Nets girls, but they alright by me.'

In scenes reminiscent of Willis Reed at the Garden, Matt Owens brought inspiration and a much needed scoring punch to the grading game on Monday.

Ignoring doctors warnings that his ankle could 'snap right off' Owens started the game and hit some shots to provide extra scoring to a Regulator team that tried hard, but didn't have the legs.

'I haven't played in about six weeks. It's bullshit. Fuck the doctors, fuck the medical department and fuck voiding my contract - I'm gonna play!' Owens said after the game.

The rest of the Regulators seemed a little under cooked, but they were playing a team desperate to earn a spot in the league. They did that, but not without a patented Rugulator run in the second half that trimmed the lead to six.

Overall it was a good hitout for the club which received the bonus of a bye in week one. Matt Owens and Ben Torrence will have an extra week to rest and heal up.

Grading game: A+ for Regs?

Editorial by Digs.

Ah the grading game. We've played many of these before and never lost. It's how we've come from J grade up to F (that's 5 grades higher muthafucka - recognise!).

The grading game, where you can bust out any bootleg or authentic NBA or NCAA top you choose. I'm taking Sam Cassell Milwaukee Bucks #10 along to this dance. Got it in an alley in Bangkok. Don't ask me what I did to get it - trying to repress the memory.

Yes the grading game. Where new teams ply their wares against solid veteran units like us. Their deer in headlights style makes for some fun basketball. Check in later for the post game report.

If she were watching, the effort would be appreciated.

Mixed emotions as Regulators leave everything on the floor in their final game.

The Regulators again played with heart, skill and determination tonight but were outmatched by a superior Loud Noises unit.

The news that Paul Lochland has retired and his inspiring speech to the fans left not a dry eye in the stands.
'When I came here 4 months ago, no one - least of all me - knew how powerful and uplifting my presence would be. There will never be another Larry Bird, and there wil never, ever be another Paul Lochland.' Paul was quoted before being whisked away by security.

Season recap and awards will be posted later in the week - stay clicked on...

Website realises what pics will get attention.

Hope the web traffic picks up.

Vintage dunk footage unearthed!

Below is some old footage of the Regulators throwing down a few...enjoy

Digglers win, but Regulators show class

Leonard cools as Digs lights it up.

Playing the top team last night, the Regulators fought bravely, but were ultimately beaten by the class team of 2007 - Dirk Digglers.

With injuries and other factors, the Regs had only three starters and were always going to be pushing shit uphill.
Digs started the game by pushing a nice turd right up the hill in scoring on some quick drives. Torrence got in on the act and Roobs added some points and rebounds.
The score was close when Matt Leonard rocked up and the game looked to be competitive.

But the Digglers aren't top by way of forfeits every week. With their giant in the middle and some quality forwards, it was difficult to keep them from scoring inside.
The Regs finally went down 35-52 and didn't disappoint the capacity crowd.

The Regs are looking forward to a win next week to wrap up the season.
A season which has had many positive moments lately after some disruptions early on.

Regulators go for four in a row

Torrance still sizzling as Regs heat up.

A stunning late-season turnaround has the Regulators looking for four straight wins in tonights 'Red-eye' battle against Dirk Digglers.

The Digglers are known for their length, girth and hardness but the Regulators are looking for a tough victory.

They don't come any harder than Dirk Digglers, but the Regulators should withstand a heavy pounding early and take what comes at them.
The Digglers are known to flop quickly after coming at you, and tend to shrink down to a lesser team.

If Torrance can continue his hot shooting and the rookies do their part, all looks good for win number four in a row.

Sorry about the puns, but I just couldn't resist - do you blame me?

Regulators brutally flog Animals United - RSPCA to investigate

Torrence answers critics with masterful shooting display.

The regulators were back to their best in last nights win over Animals United (37-29).
A quick start saw them up 14-4 and looking to do extreme damage before the Animals made the scoreboard a little more respectable at the half, 21-12.

Ben Torrence was exceptional nailing three 3-pointers and creating baskets for teammates.

Roobs and Matt Owens were solid down low and never stopped running.

It was when Animals United came within two points midway through the second half that the Regulators knuckled down and played their trademark air-tight defence. A stop was made and Torrence, who was on fire throughout, nailed a timely three-pointer to extend the lead to five.

'Apparently I copped a spray from the media', Ben said at the after game press session.

'Word travels fast in this town. I didn't read it myself, but whatever two-bit journo you are - fuckin' eat that you deadbeat knocker. Don't forget I took on the thugs in the scallop industry and won...'

So there's some life left in this Regulator unit. With a bye coming up and a few niggling injuries to heal - the least they can do is make the teams up the top shit their daks a bit.

Cruelty to Animals United

The struggling Regulators may need to shoot their way into form against a dangerous Animals United team tonight.

Poor shooting has cost them some valuable premiership points lately, and when the shot doesn't fall, other scoring options dry up.

The two Matts have been consistent scorers all season, but when the other Regulators aren't scoring, these two see more defenders coming their way at the end of games.

Paul Lochland has been increasing his production too and has been another consistent performer of late.

As for the others - here are some of the things that have to happen to turn things around:

• Ben Torrence needs to hit some threes - he's been taking less shots as the season goes on and needs to shoot his way back to form
• Digs needs to get to the line. He was averaging around 4 foul shots a game, hasn't been there in a while
• Roobs needs to get under the basket and his teammates should find him for some easy buckets
• Roopa can use his best asset - speed - by being a cherry-picking mutha fucka

The Regulators can try these things, and maybe pull out a win tonight.

Funk FC defeat shaky Regulators

Even with 3 on the bench, the Regulators couldn't get it going against Funk FC and in the process lost all hope of reaching the finals. Funk FC started strongly using a 14-4 run to start the game. The Regulators were able to claw back to be down only 7 points in the second half, but got blown away in the end.

Red Alert - Regs lose to Code Blue

Put the finals preparations on hold - the Regulators fall apart in second half.

After a promising first half which saw the Regulators in the unusual position of being up 14-5, Code Blue stormed back to record a seven point win (39-32).

Maybe they're used to coming from behind, maybe it was the late game - whatever the reason the Regulators lost and what seemed like a possible finals surge has turned into another season of panic now for the Yellow and Blue team.

A bye this week should help heal the gaping wound of a loss against a clearly inferior opponent. Lets see if they can regroup and win the remaining six games. If they do, there's still hope of a top four finish in the very competitive and even F grade season.

You can take this new logo RIGHT UP THE BRACKET!

Like the new logo? Please comment on the only logo we've ever had.

Super Naturals sit back on couch, roll fat cigarette

A huge 15-2 run in the second half propelled the Regulators to a memorable win last night. All the available Regulators were in top form and looked like they could beat anyone. It looks like this group is finally working each other out as they prepare for a finals push.

Matt Leonard showed any knockers what the team has missed with a dominating display inside against some large opponents. A combination of hook shots, pull up jumpers and drives kept the scoreboard ticking over, and on the other end he displayed some nice board work.

Paul Lochland showed he's shaken off the decade long rust of not playing comp ball with another confident all-around game. Roopa and Lochland combining to create a turnover was just one of many highlights for this young backcourt duo. The fact is - the game was well decided before that turnover - this is dizzy stuff folks.

But the game was far from a walkover, early on the Regulators were struggling with turnovers, bad shots and swiss cheese defence. Matt Owens was whistled for a tech after some yibbidy yibbada with the ref. They were lucky to escape the half five points down and there were no signs things would change in a hurry.

But that's exactly what happened, crisp passing, fierce defence, dead-eye shooting, fast breaks and some fair-dinkum hard yakka stunned the opposition and after Roopa finished the run with a sweet rainbow jumper - the Super Naturals had to call a timeout. This did little to stem the flow and the Regulators finished it off like a Peter North money shot.

THIS IS DIZZY STUFF FOLKS!

Regulators vs Stayers preview

The Stayers are good - but are they Regulator good?

That question should be answered around 10pm tonight. The Regulators (4 wins - 3 losses) will field their entire 7-man roster for the first time all year and if the Stayers can overcome that - then they dear readers are the sheeeaaaaat!

Digs makes his long awaited return after a dubious contract clause had him spending time in Italy. After the Regulator board bought out the $75.78 mil contract, he was flown home (economy) and greeted by a legion of devoted fans at 4am 2 weeks ago.

'Yeah it was a fucked scenario, but I'm here now! Lets do this!' Digs said in his press conference.

The two bench positions allows for a few different Regulator styles, small ball, tall ball, run n' gun or shoot and hope.

A full match report will be posted tomorrow.

Hey Fellas - how did we go?

Add commetn and tell me if we won hey?

Tied at the half - The Reg's cop it sweet

After two games the Regulators are 1-1 following a second-half collapse last monday night to Dirk Digglers 32 - 15.

Clawing their way back to 9-all at the half with defense and ball control - the Regulators threw all their hard work away to only score 6 points in the second half.

'We only scored 6 after half time last week, and to do that again feels pretty shit,' team captain Digs said at the post-game press conference, 'it doesn't help when they have a huge dude in the middle and we're working with a spare parts team who haven't played much together.'

Both teams showed plenty in the first half, and something had to give - unfortunately it was the Regulator offensive game.

The Regulators did have some positives from the loss, fill in Bryan played with heart and fit in well. New recruit Paul added some good drives that couldn't be converted and the team showed some character after falling into an early 9-2 hole.

Two key players will be back in two weeks follwing the bye, then on 10 June, Digs will be back and hopefully the full 8-man roster will be ready to wreck shop.

Regulators kick off season with nail-biter

The relieved Regulators (including team mascot Dillon) after the win.

The Regulators last night used their get out of jail free card to defeat Team-Xtreme 23-19 in an un-impressive performance.

After a solid start running away to an 8-2 lead thanks mainly to some impressive offensive ball movement and tight defense, the Regulators ended the half leading 17-8.

With 14 minutes remaining and the score at 21 –10 the lights went out at the Albert Park stadium, an incident akin to the St.Kilda v Essendon match at Waverley Park in the mid 90’s. When play resumed and the lights back on, Team-Xtreme made a second half surge using the incident to their advantage for a quick 9-0 run.

With a minute and a half to go and the scores at 21-19, it looked as though the Regulators were about to pull defeat from the jaws of victory when Ben Torrance nailed 2 timely free throws after a signature drive to the basket to put the win beyond the grasp of the pumped up Xtreme side.

Rueben showed plenty early in the match, but an undisciplined technical foul with 4 minutes remaining took the shine off an impressive performance.

The surprise package of the evening came from Simon who showed he is worth every dollar of the big money it took to bring him out of retirement. Roopa and new recruit Paul, although not troubling the scorers were tight in defence and forced plenty of turnovers and were instrumental in the victory.

Andrew and Ben were both well below their best but did enough to ensure the team came up with the points in the end.

When questioned about the victory, captain Andrew replied, “It was a game of 2 halves”.

With the Matts’ Leonard and Owens in Asia on national duty and due to return early next month, the Regulators can only improve as the season progresses, and may even come out of the wilderness to compete in their first finals campaign in quite a few years.

Winter 2007 complete schedule

Just so it's here:

23/04/07 5.50 vs Team X-Treme
30/04/07 8.20 vs Dirk Digglers
7/05/07 BYE
14/05/07 10.00 vs Killdozers
21/05/07 7.30 vs DUB
28/05/07 6.40 vs Rollers
4/06/07 9.10 vs Clown Shoes
18/06/07 BYE
25/06/07 9.10 vs Stayers
2/07/07 6.40 vs Dictators
9/7/07 7.30 vs Super Naturals
16/07/07 10.00 vs Code Blue
23/07/07 BYE
30/07/07 8.20 vs Funk FC
6/08/07 5.50 vs Animals United
13/08/07 BYE
20/08/07 7.30 vs Powerhouse 4
27/08/07 8.20 vs Team X-Treme
3/9/07 10.00 vs Dirk Digglers
10/09/07 5.50 vs Loud Noises

Winter season 2007 begins

Just got the schedule for the new season and we're ready to go!

First game is an early one, 5.50 this Monday (23rd April). We're playing Team X-Treme which sounds like a gay porn movie to me.

We've been given the no.1 spot in the fixture, which means fuck-all but it feels kinda nice.

Matt Owens and Matt Leonard are out for the first two games - we're gonna miss those two guns but we have help with Simon coming out of retirement and an old Echuca friend of mine Paul Lochland who knows how to play a bit. So for the first game we're loaded more than usual with six players.