Regs lose at buzzer! 45-43

Here's the video highlights:

Regs knock back a few VB's. Win 55 - 38

The Regulators continued their great form with a blowout win against VB's - 55 - 38.

This time the video coverage was poor with the camera shifting and recording a chair and a wall for the entire first half.

Here's a snapshot of the useless footage:

Wow! A plastic chair and glass wall. Fascinating.

Things improved in the second half, before the camera ran out of film and missed some great showtime work from the Regulators who had their opponent on the ropes and delivered some vicious finishing shots.

Please enjoy:



As you can see, the Regulators were dominant all over the place:

• Claude was on fire, hitting five 3-bombs on his way to 23 points.

• Three other Regulators scored in double figures.

• Ben Torrance returned to form hitting two 3's in this highlight alone.

The team hopes to ride the wave of good form and make some noise at the top of the ladder. With only two games in the next three months lets hope the momentum is strong enough to last.

Next game on December 15th - see you there.

Regs defeat Norwegian 28-18

Video highlights of the game...

Play the Ben Cousins Game! (now 100% irrelevant)

You can visit the site at:

hibernatedesign.com.au

Clown Shoes kick Regulators in the ass. 44 - 42

Poor end-game tactics drop Regulators to 3 wins, 5 losses, (byes count as wins).

Clown Shoes - made it easy to choose a main shot this week.

Well it's been a fucking long time huh? Thought this blog might have run its course did you? Thought the Regulators shift up to E grade was too much for this reporter to handle? Nearly, but not quite.

A certain scenario has developed that will see a massive surge in readers for a couple of days and hopefully a few of those will cling on and ride the roller coaster that is the Regulators season.

That has lit a fire up my ass to be sure, but also I just needed to rest the fingers 'cos MSAC basketball NEVER STOPS - you only get a week or two off if you DON'T MAKE THE FINALS. If you do make both finals you have NO WEEKS OFF AT ALL. I've been playing for 6 years now but this is the first time I've written the blog AND MADE THE FINALS! So please, forgive me and know that I am back muthaphukkas - BACK!

This game report will hopefully start a trend of future reporting where there is actual photos from the game and maybe even some video - NOW THAT'S A FUCKING UPGRADE BIATCHES! Now we're in E grade you're gonna get E grade reporting.

This will mean, but is not limited to:
• Photos of actual moments in the game, just like ESPN. Here's a comparison:

Professional, exclusive, dynamic angled NBA shots (left) or grainy,
low-perspective Monday night pics (right) - I know what I prefer.

• Game footage of key moments
• inconsistent speeling and grammar
• Player profiles (mugshot, position, player history, background story etc.)
• Retired Regulator player interviews
• Classic Regulator game recaps, including the epic "Black Cougars miracle OT shot"
• Guest blog reports - Ben Torrance you are WAY overdue
• Other shit, especially if you ask for it in comments (looooooove me some comments)

So in the new format, here's how the game went down:

Clown Shoes got off to a white-hot start with eight points in the first two minutes:

And here's some photos of some vintage Regs D forcing a turnover:

Thoughts, comments - please add...

Movin' on up - Regs jump up to E grade

After making first finals searies in years, Regs move up a grade .

Here's the schedule - which takes us all the way to late March [FARK!]

Click on it and it should go larger to read...

The attempted humour will return soon - just too busy at minute.

We lost first game to BOB.

No luck for Regs - lose in semis.

The Regulators fought hard, but were out hustled by a tenacious and lucky Unsung Warriors team.

Homer was devastated - as we all were.

The story of the night was on the boards as the Warriors crashed the glass and converted bad shots (that hit no rim) into easy put-backs. You can't anticipate that kind of rebound and if the Regs had the same thing going on up their end, maybe it's a different story.
The Regulator 'D' that was outstanding all year was once again on display and forced terrible shots from the Warriors - but there's nothing more deflating than a missed shot falling into the offence for a layup. This would have happened at least 6 times in the game.

Claude and MattyO kept the Regs in it early and Digs was able to contribute a couple of and-1's but it was tough going and the Regs found themselves down by 9 at the half.

The second half saw the Regs fall even further behind until they decided to go with a 'small ball' lineup with Leonard and Sam on the bench. A furious run developed and the Regs found themselves back in the game. But the Warriors pulled out a few back-breaking threes and the Regs ran out of steam.

Final score - not sure but about a 15 point loss.

Fired up Regulators win - earn spot in Final four!

In a do-or-die last game of season, the Regulators came together as one unit to crush Shooting Blanks. Now they look forward to upsetting the top team in the first semi-final.

The Regs have punched their ticket to the big dance.

The air was thick with anticipation as the sellout crowd wanted nothing more than the Regulators to secure their first finals berth in years - they got what they wanted, but it wasn't easy.

Matty Owens return to the team was nothing short of spectacular as he got the Regs off to a big lead early, hitting jumpers, driving the lane and dropping dimes. The team took his lead and played stifling defense to leave Shooting Blanks shooting blank shits in their jocks.

In fact it may have been a shart that kick-started the Blanks back into the game. I can distinctly remember one of the nastiest smelling farts ever to grace the hardwood wafting around the Blanks basket late in the first half. They seemed immune to this and were able to get a few inside buckets to close the gap to six points at the break.

At halftime not much was said as every Regulator was gasping for breath. They knew another half of top effort would leave no questions lingering (and no smells lingering), win or lose.

But the Blanks made it interesting, grinding three points closer in what was becomming a war of attrition. The Regs needed a lift and once again Rookie Claude (zero first half points) put the team on his shoulders with a second half masterpiece. Three-balls, drives, frozen rope passes and locking down their best player - he did it all and the Regs pulled away.

In fact the play from all five guards was top shelf with bench rotations worked beautifully. Add in Sam and Leonard at their bruising best down low and the result was theirs. The last play of the game was a rebound tapped in the air to shave seconds off the clock by Sam. This presence of mind will be valuable in the finals and was a great sign.

So fucking yay! Finals schedule should come through early this week.

Stay tuned for regular season awards including MVP, Rookie of Year, Defensive player of year and Tatts and Beard of the year (Roopa is unbackable at $1.01).

Also a finals preview may be on the cards if we get 10 votes for it in the poll.

Give me the Rock want to be pimped

Here's their link

There I put the link up - now can I have that guide?

Regs keep rolling, expose Powerhouse as Crap-house

Finals destiny in Regulators' hands after win.
Regulators 44 - Powerhouse 19

The Regs warmup - striking fear into the heart of opponents

The Regulators continued their stunning late season surge with a commanding win in the late game Monday night.

Veteran guard Mattyo and star rookie Claude were both out injured, but the Regs proved again they have more than enough cattle to beat the teams below them.

Bringing six players to the table for the clash, the Regs jumped out to 10-0 before Powerhouse could score their first points. Ben and Digs were especially sharp - no doubt a result of a training run the day before. Their passing was crisp and led the big guys to some easy buckets.

The stifling Regulator 'D' which has become their trademark was once again on song and created plenty of opportunities for second gamer Eamon to unleash some dunks. He almost threw down a vicious one-hander, but it rimmed out. Playing five games in one day might have made the legs a little tired, so who knows what he would have done if fully fresh.

Sam ate some white chocolate, then played like white chocolate

Sam seems to be rolling into finals form with a dominant display in the middle. A coast-to-coast hanging layup was a highlight in his game that was mainly about grabbing every rebound in sight and strong moves in the paint. His partner in crime Leonard did the exact same things when Sam had a spell and when they were both on court the guards were free to hassle up top. This strategy seemed to evolve through ESP as it was not talked about, but just happened. Yes the team chemistry is sky high right now.

About the only Regulator who didn't get in on the act was Roopa. He didn't do much because the refs didn't let him, calling foul after foul until he could foul no more. What's up with that refs? Trying to keep the pitbull on the leash? Fuck youse - don't do it again!

So with the fourth spot theirs to lose, the Regs look to close out the season in style. A win puts them in the finals and a loss knocks them out. Their opponents are no slouches so this game will have a finals intensity to it.

Tipoff is at 6.40pm, so by 7.30 it's finals time or pack your bags holiday time.

Regs inspired by sniff of finals, overrun Emugators 38-31.

Shock losses leave door open for Regulators to storm finals party.

The Wolf has some wise words for the Regulators,
'Let's not start sucking each other's %$#@ quite yet.'

In a stunning change of fortune for the Regulators, two crucial games that should have gone the other way have given them a very good chance of scraping into the finals. With the way they played last night, that is an ominous prospect for the top teams.

Knowing a win would keep them firmly in the hunt, the Regulators stormed out of the gates to lead 12-2. Digs seemed on a mission on both ends of the floor and had two massive rejections that reminded some of the Polish women's volleyball team in Beijing.

Any excuse to run a shot of the Polish women's team...

He didn't play a lone hand however with Leonard returning from a serious knock to the schnoz - back to playing his bruising best down low. Just to show he can do finesse with the best of them he faked out a defender on the perimeter got himself open and knocked down a sweet jumper - all net.

Dismissing rumors of a sign-and-trade to Perth, Sam was solid in the middle and forced the opposition to shoot from outside (in which they are crap at). Post game Sam confirmed he is staying with the Regulators for good.

Claude was again hitting from long range, but was double teamed later on in the game to good effect. This is where the Regulators have to step up and in the past haven't delivered. Not this time as Torrance made a timely three-ball to stop a threatening Emugator run. This shot broke the shackles and after getting the lead back to double digits, the Regs slowed the game down to ensure victory.

The win was theirs, but with just seconds left on the clock, Roopa decided he'd pull out an assist-of-the-year contender. He had the ball on the baseline with Claude on the other side, and a defender in between. A one-handed bullet pass bounced between the defenders legs right into Claudes hands, the shot was up, the buzzer went off and - arrgh! Rimmed out.

Next time Roopa, next time.

Hitler upset at the Collingwood drink driving debacle...

DUB avoid smackdown by forfeiting. Weak bitches...

Yeah so we get a win out of it - fucking yay.

Bye next Monday so report not coming for a while.

Here's the latest ladder - even more impossible for a shot at finals now.

We are in green - next opponent in blue - they will probably forfeit too...

Bloodbath! Unsung Warriors defeat Regulators 36-29

Ladder position: 8th
5 wins, 6 losses


Regs lose Matt Leonard, lose game, may have lost chance at finals.

Before and after: Leonard did not return after the collision, and is in doubt for next game

This was the game many fans has penciled in as a must see from the start of the season. Even with the Regs looking shaky and out of a top 4 spot, a season record 3 fans piled into the MSAC arena. This game promised much and delivered plenty, but left Regulator fans ultimately disappointed in the seven point loss.

Both teams traded baskets and turnovers at a lightning quick rate until midway through the first half. That's when Matt Leonard and an unknown Warriors player met face-to-arm, and Leonard's nose bent four-ways-back-from-Sunday (medical term). The force of the impact was immediate as blood came gushing out in huge streams that looked awesome as. If that wasn't enough to inspire his teammates, Leonard still chased after the ball to keep possession - with blood flowing - it was freakin' unreal.

With so much blood on the floor, the game had to be transferred to a different court. The two teams left off where they started and the contest was tied at halftime.

The second half was as fiercely played as the first, but down to only one big man (Sam, who was air balling free-throws - sorry Sam), and a no-show from Matt Owens, the Regulators were going to have to play at their best. Got to give credit to the Warriors perimeter defense which was almost like a wall, the few times a Regulator got in was through a broken play from a bad pass.

Claude once again delivered the goods, accounting for a huge percentage of the Regulator score. But with the rest of the team finding it hard to get anything this can be seen as a positive. Owens no doubt would have put a few on the board and Torrance had sore guns from a skiing trip (missing a few threes he might normally make).

But enough excuses - a massive percentage boost is the forecast for next week as the Regs take on cellar-dwellers DUB. Then a bye followed by more bottom tier teams before a last round matchup with current #6 team Shooting Blanks.

Check back for a ladder update and analysis of the Regulator road to finals glory:

What they have to do, who's in their way and what has to happen...an in depth analysis for you - the reader of the most obscure, confounding and sometimes bizarre basketball blog out there on the Internets.

A tale of two games. This week. Regs win 51-31

Regs pounce with lightning speed and deadly accuracy in comprehensive win.

The nature theme continues.This deer thing gets away? What do you think?

Hang on, we've been here before. Remember the 3 straight wins and top of the ladder status?
Yeah it felt like this.

This game was a massacre to be sure.

Highlights:
Holy shit the Regs can pass! They were clinical in technique and creative with the rock.
Open looks were found all the time and the shooting was deadly.
80% of the team hit a three pointer.
Ben Torrance pulled off a hanging up-and-under scoop (plus the foul!) in heavy traffic.
He then decided to play some Gridiron with some long touchdown passes that were right on target. In between a couple of threes were in order.
Digs thought he might get 5 steals. He got 7. He could have had 10. Add in some sweet dishes and his first 3 of the year and the grin is still showing.
Mattyo vowed to get some boards (he did) but probably racked up more assists than anything. His shot was dropping and if stats were kept, there would be numbers everywhere.
Claude Larman had the radar on, hitting 4 threes I can remember. But most of his buckets came in transition starting with a steal, and a quick pass to Larman and ending with an easy bucket. The only time he missed was his most wide open layup of the night. That was one for the Blooper reel.
Sam Fuggle became a beast against the biggest front court in the league. He ruled the baseline an the boards. Leonard would usually be needed for this but Fuggle out did his 3 opponents. He also got out and ran for some awesome buckets.

Alright, alright. Time to put the lid on it. Good win against shit team. That's it.

Bye next week. Then a massive test against a top 2 team. Full squad is needed.

A tale of two games. Last week.

Check the poll on the left and correctly answer to win absolutely nothing!

Regs lost by one point.

Details are hazy but insiders informed me that if the score was kept properly, the Regs would have had a win.

The scenario:

The Regs thought they had the win.

They were wrong.

Up by one point, with not much time left, scoring two points would give the opposition the rock with a chance to tie.

Hold the ball. Best thing to do in this cut-throat, rollercoaster season. The Regs need to get on a roll and this would be two in a row.

Hold the ball. Buzzer. Win...hey what the FucK?

Bottom line muthafucas - is that the scorecard was wrong and the Regs lost by one point.

CRUSHED.

This reporter heard this news by Sat-phone, covering a story in the Middle East. The Middle East being Surfers Paradise and hearing the news = drinking beers on the balcony of a hotel.

That is all.

Round 10 Ladder

Winnin' Ugly. Regulators defeat Oh Jays 34-33

Ladder position: 7th
4 wins, 4 losses

Regulators claw back some respect with gritty win.

After a lean stretch, the Regulators need to feast on a crap team.

The Regulators took another step forward on the path to finals glory with a solid team effort that was much more convincing than the final score showed.

Stung by the narrow loss last week and tackling an opponent below them on the ladder, the Regs struck quickly to jump out to a 5 point lead. Oh Jays came back strongly though and took a 19-13 lead into halftime.

The Regs were not fazed however and came out blazing in the second half. Roopa was let off the chain and attacked the ball on D (4 steals) creating some easy buckets. Sam, Leonard and Torrance controlled the glass on both ends, Claude found his shooting touch (14 second half points) and Digs played the point with aplomb.

By the time Oh Jays called 'time' the six point deficit was converted to an eight point lead with plenty of time to spare.

Oh Jays managed to get within two points near the end, but with the ball in the safe hands of Digs (10 assists, 0 turnovers) and a fantastic offensive rebound and drawn foul from Torrance (sandwiched between two big guys, timed the jump perfectly and got the foul!), they never looked like stealing this one.

Game notes...at the halfway point of the season, the Regulators are dead even at 4 wins, 4 losses...starting point Digs will miss next game, his replacement, Josh has been signed to a 10-day, $20,000 contract...Matt Owens sat out this game due to contract obligations for the Oakleigh Basketball League...next opponent is Thunder Truck who have had an astonishing FOUR drawn matches this season...

When a loss is really a win. Wasted defeat Regulators 37-36

The Regulators lost for the fourth time in a row Monday night, (so why is the team all smiles?)

Team mascot Dillon was kept in his box for this late night clash

In an exciting and energetic game Monday, the Regulators dug deep in the final minute to erase a seven point deficit to just one with 12 seconds left on the clock. Needing to foul and put Wasted on the line (who had shot well all night) the Regulators were shafted by the refs and the clock was allowed to run out - Regulators going down by one point.

The key to the comeback was rookie Claude who nailed two threes back to back to set up a free throw contest that never happened. He had shot poorly all night, but almost saved the day when needed the most - and showed that the Regulators have a legit late game threat heading into the rest of the season.

But the story of the game was the defensive intensity by the whole Regulator team. From the 10:00 mark of the first half they turned up the D several notches and played flat out the rest of the way. The use of bench was key as subs were used regularly and there was a fresh guard or big man on court at all times.

Wasted are third on the ladder, but seriously did not deserve the win. Just one more made shot for the Regs (who had plenty of open looks) and the result changes.

Next game is at 6.40 this Monday and without a doubt is a MUST-WIN.

Torrance sworn in as new Regs captain.

The Regulators look to new direction and J Grade is stunned.

Rumours confirmed: Torrance is the Regulators Captain

Ben Torrance will take the reigns in the next match for the Regulators as Digs has handed over the keys to a new owner.

'I was honored to cop the captaincy all those years ago, but fuck - filling out those forms and rou...hang on. I just saw Matthew Lloyd take a massive hanger...that was sick...yeah so basically I just want to get out there and play ball.' he said.

The official statement released from Ben's press department was issued earlier today:

'Phsycing myself up for the job....
There will be a few changes...only in terms of our defence
Will have to wait for the press conference for more info..'

Sounds exciting. We could have a record number of votes in the next poll question,

'What does the captain shake up mean for the Reglators?'

Major Announcement coming soon

A major announcement is coming very soon regarding the Regulators basketball team. A press conference will be held during the course of the next week.
All I can say is WATCH THIS SPACE

Free-Ballin' and Free Fallin' from top spot.

The ladder tells the story. Time to hire some guns again?

The Regulators came back to earth with a thud Monday night, losing their second in a row and dropping from first place to sixth.

Wasting a phenomenal first half performance from Ben Torrance (15 points) and a 5 point halftime lead, the Regs couldn't get it together and went under by 8 points.

Voting ends soon

Don't forget to cast your vote on the left there.

How far will the Regs go?

F Grade Ladder arrives, gets posted up.

Monday Nighters run over Regulators on Monday night.

Undermanned and fatigued,the Regulators took their first loss with a shrug Monday night.

With the excitement of a 1 v 2 game in the air (think Pistons/Celts game 2, but way shitter) the Regs
got off to a brilliant start with steals specialist Roopa canning a trey, then following up with a jumper.

We were doing well, (did I mention it was 4 on 4 for a while?) then they had a dude show up so we
changed to 5 on 5 [MBA - where 5 on 3 games happen]. He proceeded to dominate on D and get
many steals that led to buckets.

So it was about 12 - 10 pts in it, got it to 6 then got blown out by 16.

Regs climb to top position

Here's the ladder. Don't ask how it was acquired (thanks Hutchy!), just admire the percentage of the mighty Regulators.

Note: Regulators v second placed Monday Nighters this Monday - huge matchup!

Q & A session 1 - May 2008

Q & A session with Phil McCrackin:
(the Regulators trainer and groin massager)

Don't sleep. This man works wonders to the groin region.

Q: Another huge win, 62 - 19 over second placed Funk F.C. Are they the real deal?
A: Lets not start sucking each others dicks quite yet, gentlemen. The Regs have had good starts before and missed finals action. Lets see in a few weeks. But 62 points is a massive total.

Q: Okay, but they finished strong last year and haven't come close to losing so far - finals are a huge chance right?
A: Well it's been a long, long time since finals were played. Only Digs and Roobs (who is M.I.A) have seen finals games, but yes it looks like they are heading there with 2 games against teams they've already beat still to come.

Q: That was a late game last night. Is that why crowd numbers were down? (23,734 final gate numbers)
A: The main reason for the low attendance was the fact Roopa was out for this game. He's a cult figure and groupie magnet whose jersey outsells LeBron's by 4 to 1

Q: Sam was pencilled in to play but didn't show - should we be concerned?
A: No. Sam slept through his alarm and was sleeping during the game. We put that down to him having a massive weekend, which we fully encourage and support.

Q: Matt Leonard was a beast last night on the boards. Can the fans expect more of that?
A: Yes and no. Leonard played centre last night and coupled with their new 3-2 defensive scheme, had more paint to cover than he usually does. With Sam back and if we switch back to 2-3 he may have less boards to get. We will try the exact same thing next week, with Digs heading up top, so yes maybe he will keep cleaning the glass like a Portuguese maid - time will tell.

Q: Another great cameo from hired gun Claude seemed to give the Regs a huge boost. Will we see some more of that in the future?
A: All reports are that both Claude and Amon are happy to fill in when needed. So far their agents haven't demanded huge contracts. Having players that don't miss, play lockdown D and do everything in between is kinda like having 5 aces in a game of poker - kinda okay I guess...

Q: Finally, who was the mystery man playing in the yellow t-shirt?
A: Yet another Matt. Matt Kneebone, or the Shogun Assassin as he is called. Surprisingly he played as though he's a Regulator veteran and we'll definitely use his services again if need be.

Q: Phil McCrackin thank you for your time.
A: Whatever...

Regulators injury list.

Roobs: Broken Heart (Indefinite)
Matt Owens: Pulled Heart String (Available)
Roopa: New Tattoo (Available)
Sam Fuggle: Missing in action (Available)

Regs tell it straight to Funk F.C. - FUNK YOU!

While the Regs funked it up like a young Snoop...

Funk F.C. played like Fred Funk the geek-ass golfer

Regulators Funk F.C right up.

The Regulators last night turned the corner and seem to be heading for a finals birth after thrashing 2nd placed Funk FC 62 -19.

New recruits which almost sent the team bankrupt with their hefty price tags repaid the team and then some with and awesome performance.

It was the 1% percenters and a new 3-2 defensive zone which left the opposition scratching their heads, unable to find a way into their big man and the key.

Team cohesion was the key, everyone played a selfless game and that was the key difference from the Regulators of old who continually relied on 1 or 2 to do the scoring.

Lets just hope that the wins continue and the Regs reach their 1st finals campaign after over 6 seasons in the doldrums.

Return of the Jedi - Regulators style.

Predator last week, now this. I feel a theme coming...

Regs off to flying start with the return of 3 key players.

With two wins from two games, the Regulators are sitting pretty up the top of the ladder.
The Return of Matt, Ben and Matt helped the Regs lead from start to finish in a game that they dominated throughout, but then had to hold onto late.

Fans were ecstatic to see Ben running at full tilt and showing no signs of recent injury trouble - perpetrated by some media outlets (ESPN - you're on notice).

Matt Owens stepped in as though in mid-season form and gave the Regs some balance in the frontcourt.

Irish mentioned after the game he had some 'court-rust' to shake off but grabbed the crucial boards when the lead was dwindled down to 5 points.

The other Regulators did their shit - Roopa again opening the scoring with a steal and break-away, Digs hitting some J's and Sam abusing them in the post.

Bye next week - so another win in the column and the Regs are off to their best start in fucking ages!

Quick look schedule Winter 2008

I'm either lazy or busy - you decide. Either way, here's the best I can do at the moment to put the season schedule up ENJOY!

Hired guns help Regs get huge opening night win

Game one was like Predator without the Alien - piss easy operation when you hire the best.

From near-forfeit to huge blowout win and everything in between - the Regulators season opener was a huge hit. (just don't mention the cleaners...)

On a night when around 150 players were crammed like sardines outside the courts, the Regulators were without 3 regulars and a fill-in who just pulled out. Things were looking grim.

Then the hired assassins showed up.

Then the doors opened.

Then the players spilled out onto the courts.

Then the Regs warmed up.

Then the ball was tipped.

And then - the show began.

These hired guns - Eamon, Claude and Ben - played a level of ball rarely seen on the hallowed F grade court. From deft mid-range shooting from Claude, steady rebounding and pinpoint passing from Ben and the sheer unstoppable game of Eamon, the opposition didn't have a chance.

"The boys seemed keen to play again and if we're struggling to get a win we might have to call them up. I'm not sure if that's legal - but who cares, we want that title!" Team captain Digs said post game.

Team mascot Dillon was impressed, "Mummy! Dillon have da ice cream Mummy?" was his reply to how he thought the game went.

The four veteran Regulators fed off of the energy of these youngsters and played with more energy than usual. Dave, the on/off fill in was definitely fired up and played a great game.

So game one is in the books and the Regs are looking mighty fine right now.

Ben Matt and Matt back next game - looking forward to it.

Full schedule will be up sometime this week.

Blackout: Powerhouse fusebox busted by Regulators

The Regulators made it three wins in a row and four of their last five with a 3 point win Monday night.

This wasn't the first thing to pop up when 'blackout' was Googled...

Apparently Britney has an album of the same name.

I like the blonde one better

In a controversial and often spiteful encounter - where allegations of cheating forced the Regulators to have a man on the bench and play 4 on 5 - the Regulators continued their scintillating form and held on in the dying seconds for the win.

Missing big man Reuben and the solid play of Matt Owens, the now confident Regulators still felt they were the team to beat.

Recently injured Sam looks back to 100% and dominated the paint, wearing out Powerhouse's big men who basically did nothing all game long.

Matt Leonard didn't have the eye-popping game we've been seeing in recent weeks, but still managed a solid effort. His board work once again conjuring thoughts of Dennis Rodman at his best.

So with the Powerhouse bigs being asked to deal with way too much, how did the game become so close I hear you ask? (terrible comment, I know - someone pass me a drink or shoot me...I feel numb...)

It was a combination of two decent guards and good use of bench rest. And that's where the game was won. They might have had the better, more skilled players, but this is the fucking Regulator defense we're talking about! Read last weeks column if you need to.

I'm talking Roopa hassling their PG before he crosses half court. He was damn near molesting the poor sucka. And this was from start to finish, with no bench! The man is a walking Energizer battery advertisement. You know with him being the one with the Energizer battery in his back and the opposition has the Home Brand shit? No? Well fuck you - I can see it!

This hustle inspired Digs and Ben to work hard too. Flat from the late game time and possibly hung over. A close game like this requires a full effort and these two delivered, particularly in the end of the game when rebounds and scores were crucial.

In the last five minutes when Powerhouse took the lead and had an extra man out there you'd be forgiven for thinking 'game over, nice try Regulators'. And if you did think that, you're a filthy slut. Ben and Digs delivered the winning touches through offensive rebounds and clutch scoring. They had about five offensive boards each at the end, tapping back missed shots until the sucka went in. Back on defense they grabbed rebounds over bigger guys who were exhausted. It was like they said, 'thanks guys for getting us here, we'll knock them off now.'

One last game left in this season - 10pm next Monday. Against the hated rival Dictators.

Bring.that.shit.on.

Regulators Union smash Captains of Industry

Regulators enjoying the hard fought ass-kicking

The Regulators fielded a full squad for the first time all season and played their best game of the year, winning 28 - 15.

Down 9 - 13 after a tough first half, the Regulators gave an almost perfect defensive effort in holding their opponent to two second-half points.

I'll write that again and let it sink in people...

Down 9 - 13 after a tough first half, the Regulators gave an almost perfect defensive effort in holding their opponent to two second-half points.

Now I'll put the main passage in bold and quotes...

'holding their opponent to two second-half points'.

Now I'll put the important words in italics....

Down 9 - 13 after a tough first half, the Regulators gave an almost perfect defensive effort in holding their opponent to two second-half points.

Check the scoreboard - more fouls than points in the second half!

Have you got it yet? No? Well this is what the number two looks like:

2

and that's how many points you get for a made field goal (inside the 3 point line.)


Thusly, biatches, the so-called 'Captains of Industry' scored one-fricking-field goal in twenty mo' fo'ing minutes. Or it might have been two free throws - can't remember.

Alright, I think that's enough on that subject. Except to say that there were numerous steals, blocks, defensive and offensive rebounds in the Regs favour on the night. The Regulators were possessed by a demon-creature from the pits of hell and that demon-creature was created for the sole purpose of stopping opponents from scoring. Yep, I'm pretty sure that's what it was.

PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!

That towel got a workout.

Ben showing that perfect form we expect.

The secret is in the warm ups.

Man. Am I ever shit on the camera.
Nah I'm really sorry for the shitty shots.
Must improve.

Other notes:
• The media guide listed Ben and Sam as not playing (injured) but both played and contributed.
• Matt Leonard following up his career-high scoring night two games ago by producing what was surely a career-high rebounding game, (the man is on fire!)
• Digs drawing oohhs and ahhs with some nice handles to get to the rim, then missing at point blank range.
• A halftime shouting-match between teammates Roopa and Roobs that seemed to inspire everyone to come together and produce that brilliant second half.
• Mattyo working a one-man triangle offense in the high post and racking up the assists. He is the Zen-Master.

What will happen next? The Regs are firing on all cylinders, they've won 3 of their last 4, the full squad looks fitter than ever, an identity on the court is emerging before our eyes and next season's rego has been lodged.

This is dizzy stuff folks!

Yes photos of the game and the usual hotties photo rewards will be up later you pervs.

Regs rout Shadows

Shadows: we'll never be that crap

It wasn't even close. The Regs brought the pain and the Shadows dissappeared.

Okay so I can't change font style (huh?). Lets just move on.

The Regs got their second win in three games and erased almost all memories of the shit-fest that was the start to the season.

In an absolute flogging of the Shadows, every Regulator played flat out and contributed in almost all stat categories.

There was much anticipation for this encounter with one excited commentor asking 'When do you play The Shaows?' - now we know why - they wanted to see a blood-bath.

And bathe in blood they did, even without Ben Torrance (season ending injury) and Sam Fuggle (1 week - ankle) and with the bitter taste of Dave's signing for a different team, the Regs played like fucking legends.

The reward this week for a kick-ass effort - more hottie pics.

So tally-ho you little bitches, and bring forth a slurry of smut-laden comments...

Regs unable to get streak started, lose again.

Regulators put up a great effort, but were outnumbered in another loss.


streak (strēk)
noun

1. a line or long, thin mark; stripe or smear, generally differing in color or texture from the surrounding area
2. a ray of light or a flash, as of lightning
3. a vein or stratum of a mineral
4. a layer, as of fat in meat
5. a strain, element, or tendency in behavior, temperament, etc.; trait a jealous streak
6. * a period, spell, or series a streak of bad luck, a streak of losses

After just managing to field 5 players, the Regs were dealt an early blow when All-Star centre Sam Fuggle fell awkwardly and rolled his ankle. This reduced them to a 4-on-5 contest for most of the game (and they had a sub).

The first half was predicably shithouse for the Regulators, and then something special happened.

Roopa and Digs upped the 'D' in the backcourt.

Matt Owens started and finished fast breaks.

Matt Leonard became a dominant force inside.

All the regulators took it right to the hole and converted well-earned free throws.

Add all that up and the Regs not only held their own, but outscored the opposition by about 10 points - all while having one less player and calling no time-outs!

So in honour of this effort, here you go biatches - some more sweet pics...